Today's Appt...

I had an appt today. My Dr said I'm in my 3rd trimester now! I can't believe how fast this is going! He said Bebe is about 2 lbs and 13 inches. She has a birthdate now, he agreed to induce on October 25, yay! I'm so excited! She's head down, which I already knew since she's been kicking really high lately. I'll be going every 2 weeks now and will get an u/s at my next appt since he was too rushed to do one today. He also ordered a glucose test, but I have to fast for that, so need to go back sometime before my next appt. Everything's going great!

Water aerobics and swim lessons are going great, too. Princess has improved a ton in the past week, she's now blowing bubbles, kicking, and moving her arms...just not always all three at the same time! She's still terrified about putting her head in the water, but I'll keep working on her. I've been getting a great workout with the water aerobics (it's everyday, right before swim lessons), I'm really starting to feel it, especially in my calves. I'm getting some sun and gaining some muscle! I've gained 5 lbs since my last appt, but most of it was just since starting water aerobics last week, so it must be all baby and muscle.

Looking Up

Things are starting to look up! Princess is still in a bratty phase of throwing things and thinking it's funny, not listening to me, etc, but it's getting more bareable, lol. I joined YMCA today and am so excited about it! I also started Princess in swim lessons today, also at YMCA. So, once we got home from that and ate lunch, she was tired. Since mornings are generally the hardest time for me, this will make it much easier! They have a daily water aerobics class, too, so I'll be going to that and then Yoga once swim lessons are over. I'm so excited! I actually really enjoy working out in a class, I just normally get bored on machines...so this is perfect for me. I will start working out on my own some once Bebe is here, though. I got a 25% discount on membership and swim lessons, too. I've been able to talk to Sailor almost every day. He found a house to rent and a car to buy. We really miss him, of course, but it's been going pretty quickly so far.

Stress

I need to get this off my chest and don't want to say anything to Sailor about it. He's been going out with the guys almost every day for the past week. I'm not upset about that, I'm happy that he's making friends and that they're being so welcoming and keeping him from getting lonely. But, he called me this morning and was supposed to get online after work and never showed up. I knew he was going out, but we still had some financial issues to discuss and I feel like I kinda got shoved off because he was busy with the guys. I don't know what his life is like there and I'm sure he's lonely and misses us...but it's so hard dealing with everything here by myself. I still have to pay the bills and make sure he has enough money...regardless of whether or not I have enough money to live off of. I still have to deal with Princess, who has become extremely stubborn and refuses to listen to me. I still have to deal with my own emotions and stresses because he's gone. And, I still have to stress out because the house is STILL not done and not on the market and I have no clue when it will be. Why is it that he gets to go out every day while I'm here crying nonstop? I've never dealt with stress well, I just never really learned how to, I guess. I really miss him and I wish he was home, but I hate that I have SO much stress to deal with while he's out having fun. I hate that I'm upset every single day and I really hate that when he hears from me, it's more often negative than positive. I do know it's not easy for him to be away from us, and I know that I should be positive to make it easier on him, but I just can't keep it all bottled up. I really wish we would've picked different orders. The plus side of him being gone and me living with his parents, though, is I've finally had a chance to be more comfortable around his parents. This has definitely made me closer to them. I never spent much time with them before, just a couple hours here and there.

ETA: Well I feel really bad now. Sailor just called and aparently right after he hung up with me this morning, he got a call and him and a couple other guys have been working since then. It was 11:30pm his time when he called. I can't believe he had to work so late! I feel really bad now, thinking he just ditched me to hang out with the guys. So, I was able to quickly discuss a couple financial issues I had so that I can get it all straightened out.

Sailor and Baby News

Sick of all the depressing posts? Finally, a positive one for you! LOL I talked to Sailor yesterday and we decided that he'll be coming home on Oct 21st and we'll induce Bebe (her temporary blogname) on Oct 25th. Why are we inducing 4 days after Sailor gets here? Because I'm insane. Have you ever noticed that when you go to some websites they'll have your astrological sign dates from like the 21st of one month to the 22nd of another and other websites will have it as the 22nd to the 23rd? Well, I went to a bunch of different sites and for Oct, ending dates for Libra/beginning dates for Scorpio were 21/22, 22/23, 23/24...so if you're born between the 21st and 24th, it's kinda confusing as to which sign you really are. The most commonly used are 22/23, but still, I'd hate for Bebe to grow up and be confused, "I thought I was a Scorpio, but this horoscope says I'm a Libra". I'd like to avoid that confusion and since she's due on the 28th, I'd like to let her be a Scorpio. She'll still technically be born on the cusp (18-28 are the cusp dates for Oct), but towards the end of it, it's not at all confusing. I'm born on the 25th and am ALL Cancer, no doubt about it. Anyway, I'm not like REALLY into astrology, but am very interested/fascinated by it and before all the miscarriages, was trying to plan my pregnancies according to astrological sign. Silly, I know. I'm so excited to have a date, though, now I can start counting down! I still have to clear the date with the Dr, of course...after all this planning, I really hope the date is good for him!

Impatient

I feel like a bad mother. I'm so stressed out and I have no patience at all for Princess. She's been whiney and clingy and up my ass and I know it's because of all the changes and because she misses Daddy, but I just can't handle it. She's 2 1/2 and really needs to be potty trained, so I decided to start today. I wanted to wait til we were all moved and everything before I started to make it easier. Well, it seems now isn't a good time, either. I took her to the potty every 10 minutes and she kept saying no pee pee poo poo on the potty. She was wearing cloth training pants with vinyl covers and peed in them. I explained to her that she should go pee pee in the potty, not in her big girl pants. She said no pee pee in the potty. I tried to take her pants off since they were wet and she said no pants off and wouldn't pick up her feet. She refused to take them off and was getting whiney again and I just lost it and said forget it, wear a diaper, be a baby forever, I really don't care. I really don't know if it's ever gonna happen. She's a smart girl, but she really just doesn't want to use the potty. I really don't know what to do. I'm seriously sick of staying home and am trying to find a job now. I just don't have the patience to be a stay at home mom anymore and I feel so bad for that. She's really such a good kid, and I'm very lucky, but I just can't do it anymore. I'm really regretting the decision for Sailor to go to Greece. I don't want him gone, I want him home with me. He's so much more patient than I am and Princess actually listens to him. Every day, we have some sort of battle and both end up in tears.

Sailor

Sailor called me this morning! He's doing good, just really tired, so he's sleeping now. He's in Greece, living in the barracks until he finds a place. He's not allowed to live there permanently. Naala did great on the flight, she didn't get sick or go potty or anything in the crate. He was able to walk her and give her some water and everything when they stopped in Italy on the way. I'm so impressed, she used to get sick every time we'd drive, even just across town...I guess she's grown out of it. She didn't get sick on the drive from Jax to Ocala or the drive back to Jax or the drive to VA or the flight overseas! It's a miracle! She cured! LOL He also emailed me while they were stopped for gas in Ireland last night. I woke up this morning, did my usual morning routine, and then while I was responding to his email, he called! It was great getting to talk to him, I wasn't expecting it at all. Me and Princess are doing good, we really miss him, though. We have these picture frames that you can record messages on so me and Princess recorded a message for him on one and he recorded one for us on the other. I've been playing the message for Princess before bed every night and then sometime in the morning. I played it today and she wanted to hold it and kept playing it over and over and then when I'd try to take it away, she said "wait, wait!". I felt so bad, I know she really misses him. It's been so hard for him to say goodbye to her and for me to watch/listen to them say goodbye. Baby is due in 16 weeks, so Sailor should be back in about 15 weeks...that's not very long, I'm sure it'll go by fast. The rest of the pregnancy is going by really fast, I can't believe I'm 24 weeks already!

Another Update

My Dad called yesterday morning and wanted me to come over to visit last night. So after dinner, I went over. They were both pretty much just ignoring the whole issue and acting kinda like nothing happened. I waited and waited for my Mom to bring it up, but it just didn't happen. It was getting late, so I asked if she wanted to talk about it before I left. She denied telling her coworkers that Sailor's abusive, but did say that she thinks he's mentally abusive. I told her he's not at all abusive. She discussed his parenting skills and I defended him and told him he's a great father and loves Princess and she loves him. She said that he's a liar and that she doesn't trust him and she's scared for me. She also said that she's not doing any of this to be mean, but because she loves me and wants to protect me...and that she's not the only one that feels this way. I told her I wasn't going to make a decision one way or the other based on what everyone else thinks, it's my life and I'm happy with it. I told her that he's my husband I love him and he loves me and that's not going to change. There wasn't any yelling, luckily, but she was very adament about her opinion of him. That's not going to change. He's still not welcome over there. She hopes that one day, I'll just wake up and see him for how he really is. She said that her and my Dad would help me get back on my feet, etc, and that I shouldn't feel trapped. I told her I'm not trapped, I'm happy. She offered to show me the list of all the lies she's caught him in...I declined. I'm not interested, reading her list isn't going to do anything but lead her to believe I'm considering what she's saying. I'm not. She doesn't live with him, she doesn't know how he really is. I'm glad that the discussion is over, but I really don't feel any better. I don't think she's even though about the consequences of all of this if I don't leave him (which I won't). She just assumes that I'll see things her way. I'm now living with my in-laws, I told my Mom that I'm not gonna live somewhere where my husband isn't welcome, especially since he'll be home in a few months for the baby's birth and I really don't want that to be a stressful time. She said, "oh, it will be". What the hell is that supposed to mean? How does she expect to be there to see my daughter when she's born? She was in the delivery room with Princess, but that's obviously not happening this time. I refuse to let that be a stressful time for me. My husband will be back, we'll be having another beautiful baby, and it's going to be a happy time. How am I supposed to be comfortable going over there and visiting? I don't feel like I can even mention Sailor's name around them. I am sorry that they're feeling hurt about this and that they feel like their losing me, but it is my life and I will make my own decisions. If they agree with my decisions, great...if not, oh well. I just don't know what to do about it all. I at least feel good about dealing with it and standing up for him...even though it didn't do a bit of good or change anything, I'm sure it'll mean alot to Sailor. If it was the other way around and his parents were talking crap about me, he'd be here dealing with it and sticking up for me...I had to do the same.

Update - Stressed!

Sailor's now in VA and will be leaving for Greece soon. We are all very stressed.

On my birthday, my Mom got mad at Sailor for making Princess eat (we have to force her to try a bite before she realizes she likes it) and said that he always makes her cry and ruins every dinner. A few days later, he went over to talk to her and she blew up at him. She called him abusive, a liar, and all these other terrible things and said that he's not welcome in her house. He came back over to his parents' house, where I was, and told me what happened and then my Mom called me and said all these horrible things to me about him and said that I haven't made a single good decision since I met him! I'm just shocked, we both are, and I just don't even know what to do about that. It was awful. I had already moved my things into her house, so the next day, me and Sailor went over and moved my things out while everyone was at work. I obviously can't live somewhere where my husband isn't welcome. I haven't spoke to her since (the blowout was a week ago) because I wanted to focus on spending Sailor's last week with him instead of fighting with her. I can't believe she's doing this at all, much less right now when I'm pregnant, in the middle of a move, and my husband's about to leave the country. I've since found out that she's spreading these awful rumors about him around her office (his friend's mom works there, too) and the people in her office are now taking bets on how long after he leaves until she convinces me to divorce him! I can't believe that these people seriously have nothing better to do with their lives than to bet on my marriage. I'm just so upset and sick about all of this.

On top of all of that, we've had nonshop issues with Sailor's move. The Navy was making his flight arrangements for him and just emailing/calling us with the info. He was supposed to flight out first thing this morning to go to VA (commercial flight) and then take a military flight from VA to Greece. They had to change his commercial flight to yesterday at 5:55 because the original flight didn't have room for the dog. So he calls Southwest the other night to get info on flying with the dog and they don't accept pets at all! So yesterday morning we were at base trying to get things straightened out. They got him in with United at 7pm and we called them right away to make sure everything was a go. They confirmed his ticket and gave us info on flying with the dog, made a reservation for her, etc. So he gets to the check-in counter and checks his bags. They then tell him they don't have any kennels, so we run to Wal-Mart and get a kennel and come back. Then they tell him they're not accepting big dogs because the plane isn't big enough. She weighs 65 lbs about the same amount as Sailor's seabags...and the people we spoke to at the Airline had no problem with it, so I don't understand. He argued with them for a couple hours and they tried to get him on a different flight with a different airline...no go. They finally just refunded the Navy their money and had him rent a car and drive to VA. So he had to drive all night long. I feel so bad for him. Now he's waiting for his bags so that he can go to base and get on a plane to Greece.

Next screwup...they won't let him ship his truck out of Jax, we have to go to Orlando. And the stuff that he was shipping inside of the truck, not allowed. So really what's the point when he could just buy a cheap car there and sell it in a year...we don't even know how long it'll take the truck to get there. So, truck is staying here.

We didn't get everything ready with the house, either, so his Dad is going to get it done this weekend. We did, finally, get a power of attorney so that I can sell the house and we got our wills done (I didn't feel comfortable with us not having a will with all the flying and him being in an unsafe place). I'm so exhausted and stressed out.