I Was Wrong!

I thought I was handling the miscarriage well, and for the most part, I am, but I still have bad moments. I just sometimes feel miserable and like I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep all day. I feel so guilty for feeling that way, too. Sometimes, I just really need a break, and I feel like a bad Mom and wife for needing so many breaks. I want a job. Not just so that I can earn money (although that is the main reason), but also so I can get out of the house more. I just need some time away. I feel so terrible. I'm supposed to want to spend every minute with Princess, and until recently, I have. We've gotten a babysitter once so far. Just once. And it was Jaws. And she's babysitting again this week for our anniversary. The first time she babysat, it was so that we could go to a work Christmas party. This'll be our first actual night out and alone. I just have never felt the desire to do anything without Princess. But now, I love spending time with her, I just need some time without her, also. I refuse to use daycare, I just don't trust it. I've heard too many horror stories to even consider it. I want to get a job working evenings so that Sailor can watch her while I work. But, that means that we won't have much family time anymore, and when I want to go out for Mom's Nights Out and stuff, I'll feel really guilty. I think it's time to call that therapist. LOL I figured I'd need to, so I got the info, but haven't called yet because I've been feeling fine. I knew it'd hit me, just didn't know when. I even felt fine this afternoon. It was starting to get to me before I went to Books-A-Million with Jaws, but once I got out, I was distracted by shopping and coffee and books and magazines, but now I'm home.